Adorkable Dorks
by MissDiRed
Summary: Series of One Shots featuring various One piece male characters and You. Each chapter is standalone and can be read separately from others.
1. Intro

Hi, I decided to do this little thing.

* * *

•This story is about **You**.

•You are an unnamed woman, currently residing under nickname ' **Apple** '. You're above twenty, and your past is unknown to no one, maybe even yourself. No one knows where you came from, nor even your real name. ( _And your one little secret, too_.)

•You're **not** a Fruit User, but you're very strong anyway, easily keeping up with people like Luffy, Doflamingo or even the Admirals. You can also use Haki.

•You're of those snarky, dominant, sly people that always get whatever they want, but aside from that you're polite and give out that strange, disturbing vibe to some people. You're neither Marine nor a Pirate, with no bounty. Traveler, let's say. But you sure tend to cause problems. Quite often. To both sides.

•You can put yourself or any OC you like as ' **Apple** '. Your appearance is completely up to your imagination, but let's say you're of mid-to-tall height and more feminine than not.

•This story is no romance by default, but you can interpret it however you want. They are also set in (mostly) the same AU, with few exceptions.

* * *

 **Chapters List;**

 _•_ _~ Fairy and Folk Tales_ ( **Monkey D. Luffy** ) – Chapter. 2

N/A (Roronoa Zoro) – Page.

N/A (Sanji) – Page.

N/A (Franky) – Page.

N/A (Portgas D. Ace) – Page.

N/A (Sabo) – Page.

N/A (Trafalgar D. Water Law) – Page.

N/A (Eustass 'Captain' Kidd) – Page.

N/A (Killer) – Page.

N/A (Bartolomeo) – Page.

N/A (Cavendish) – Page.

N/A (Donquixote 'Corazon' Rocinate) – Page.

• _~ One Stupid Flamingo_ ( **Donquixote 'Joker' Doflamingo** ) – Chapter. 3

N/A (Caesar Clown) – Page.

N/A (Smoker) – Page.

N/A (Fujitora Issho) – Page.

* * *

! - Stories will not be added accordingly to the listed order. Their length will also vary.

! – You can ask for characters that are not listed in Chapters List. I will add them to waiting list.


	2. Fairy and Folk Tales (Monkey D Luffy)

**Fairy and Folk Tales (Monkey D. Luffy)**

* * *

Today's evening was rather a calm one. Just a little bit of waves and wind blowing only slightly, allowing the ship to be steadier than any other time. There were no Marines or other pirates on sight, so the Straw Hat crew enjoyed the calmness… Or were bored to death almost, in some cases. You were travelling with them long enough to know, that Zoro's seemingly calm posture was a disguise for growing irritation and… And even if you met them that very second, it was ridiculously easy to say that boy was bored.

You could say you cared. You could say you cared a lot, but you were of those people that disliked lying, be it to others or to yourself. Keeping some of information for yourself, yes, but telling something that's not truth? No. Which meant that you did not care at all, comfortably laying in your sturdy hammock with soft pillows on, and thing blanket on your body. It was warm, and wind almost didn't blew, but you always liked to be covered while laying down. It was more comfortable that way for you.

What absorbed all your attention in the current, was big, thick book in hard cover of black leather, adorned with gold. It was easily one of the biggest, thickest and oldest books you've ever seen… Your little treasure. "Fairy and Folk Tales from Known and Unknown World", golden, bold letters said. It contained hundreds of various, short and long stories that never stopped amazing you, since this book was one of few things you had since you could remember. And even you memorized most of the countless stories, you still enjoyed reading them, over and over again. Because it was like visiting an old friends.

"Hey, Apple, what are you doing?" a voice sounded suddenly, just above you, coming seconds before shadow, now looming over you. You didn't have to look away from the book to recognize its owner, and only upon realization who it is that asks, you looked up, completely and utterly shocked, your eyes wide and full of disbelief.

The Straw Hat Crew Captain, Monkey D. Luffy, in very person, looking at you with this childish innocence and curiosity only he could posses. He was also the dorkiest and most hyperactive kid you've ever met in your life, and you met a lot of people, and taking interest in a **book** of all things wasn't the last thing you'd suspect him to do – you didn't suspect him to do that **at all**.

You were certain you heard someone, perhaps one of his crewmates, choke. Well, you were not the only one taken by surprise, it seemed.

"I'm reading a book" you answered with polite smile as soon as shock passed away.

"About what?" boy asked again, titling his head. And there people were wondering why you saw him like a curious little puppy – here he was, acting like one.

"It's just lot of different stories about magical and fantasy things from all around the world" you smiled bit wider, seeing as you apparently caught boy's attention. Well, world's full of wonders after all, isn't it?

"Are they interesting?" he asked again, moving to your side.

"Yes, they are" you answered, following his movements with your sharp gaze. "Do you want me to read for you?" you finally asked. You live only once, as they day, don't you? And you practically felt his crewmates staring at you.

"Uhm… Sure!" boy smiled as wide as only he could, and you were sure you heard several gasps, but you paid no mind. Instead, you moves as much, as your hammock allowed you, making some room for the boy to jump in and snuggle under your blanket, cuddling to your side. He might've been almost twenty and beating the hell out of his enemies on daily basis, but for you, he was just a child. Overgrown and ridiculously strong, but oblivious and innocent child.

"What would you like to hear?" you asked as he finally settled in.

"I dunno. Just whatever" he said, as he laid his head on your chest. You offered a small smile and turned to the last page, which had every story listed on. After a short while of contemplation, you decided to start with _Little Red Riding Hood_ , for no real reason. You just liked that one and thought it more universal than some, since most of those tales sounded as if they were for girls.

 **•~(x)~•**

Little Red Riding Hood, Mononoke Hime, Sleeping Beauty and much more stories than you thought he'd like to hear, you finally gave up, your hands sore from holding the book so long, and your ribs from supporting it. Your throat didn't ache, but you didn't feel like reading anything more. And as much as you'd love to keep on, it would be above your strength. Fighting Marines, pirates and monsters was okay, but sitting so long with heavy book was not.

"Hey, Apple?" Luffy asked, as you put the book down onto the table.

"Yes?" you asked, as usual, politely.

"I'm sleepy" boy admitted. "Could you sing for me?" you looked at him, as he yawned, and cuddled closer to your side. You couldn't help but smile and fulfill the request:

" _Hush now, my story  
Close your eyes and sleep  
Waltz on the waves  
Diving in the deep  
Stars are shining bright  
The wind is on the rise  
Whispering words of long-lost lullabies_

 _Won't you come with me_  
 _Where the moon is made of gold_  
 _And in the morning sun_  
 _We'll be sailing_  
 _Oh, won't you come with me_  
 _Where the ocean meets the sky_  
 _And as the clouds roll by_  
 _We'll sing the song of the sea"_

Barely managed to finish first refrain, and didn't even bother starting second verse, as Luffy was already snoozing with his head on your chest. You slowly, almost fondly, ran your hand through his short, silky hair and smiled, yet again. And soon after that, boy's steady breath and pulse lulled you to sleep.

 **•~(x)~•**

"What kind of magic did you work on him?" Nami's question was practically first thing in the morning. Her voice was quiet, afraid to wake up still sleeping Luffy. "He not only got interested in a book, but he stayed still for so long!"

"I have absolutely no idea, my dear, but I suppose I can label it as a greater achievement, yes?" you said, smiling in response.


	3. Stupid Flamingo (Donquixote Doflamingo)

**•** **~ One Stupid Flamingo (Donquixote 'Joker' Doflamingo)**

* * *

There were many types of people you've met throughout your entire life.

Sometimes, the ones you've encountered were very nice, kind people. Meeting those always warmed your heart and made you feel like helping everyone around, getting their kindness and sharing yours. That was the type of people you liked to have around the most, bringing back memories of old, happier times, when you were a child, and your grandmother's warm smile guided you through life, teaching how to help others.

There were also ones that were obnoxious. Loud, maybe annoying at times, always yelling, always chasing something. Band of dorks that acted, and didn't even think at all sometimes, the ones who didn't care for consequences. Like straw Hats, for example. It depended, really, about the single person of such group, determining your attitude towards them.

Other times, when you completely ran out of your luck, you met an awful person, prideful like a peacock, and stupid like your left shoe. A person that acted like they knew it all, were always right and better than absolutely anyone. Like some of higher-ranked marines, or those goddamn World Nobles – each time you saw one, your blood pressure jumped up, veins showed, and you felt like ripping anything (ripping them would be best) apart.

And then, there was **that** guy. That guy that got on your nerves like no one else ever did. That guy, whose whole existence was nature's worst mistake for you. Each time. Each single time he saw you, he would throw anything he was doing and start following you, trying to impress you. In ridiculously childish way, much more often than not. You asked politely, first. Then just said, then demanded, then ordered, but even threatening didn't seem to work. Not for him.

Donquixote Doflamingo.

Apparently, today was the day the world decided it hates you, and send **him** , of all possible people, to torment you with his presence. And you weren't even on Dressrosa, only in some city on some island you didn't bother to remember – but far away from **his** island, you were sure.

He caught you by surprise. One moment, you're sitting in cozy café, enjoying your hot chocolate, and then, a shadow suddenly looms over you. Next thing you know, there he is, dressed like an idiot, which means as usual, with pink feathery coat on his shoulders, and grinning like an idiot he is. He didn't even bother to ask if he could sit there.

"What. Do. You. Want?" you growled, even lower than you originally intended, eyeing him as if he was guilty of everything what's wrong in the world.

"Oh please, darling, can't I just spend time with you?" he chirped, his low voice so ridiculously sweet it made your teeth hurt.

"No" you growled again, and sincerely, from the very bottom of your heart, hoped that stare could kill. At least him.

"Oh please, darling, don't make me beg!" Doflamingo leaned to you through the table, but you didn't moved an inch when his face got a bit too close. You simply turned away to take sip from your cup, and turned back to him once you put the cup back onto the table. And, for once, he was neither angry nor smiling. Just plain almost-sad-but-not-at-all.

"You're the last person in the world I would want to make scenes before me. As if your appearance isn't ridiculous enough," you growled again. "Will you leave me alone if I will waste an hour or two of my life with you, yet **again**?"

"If you only agree to go out with me, then I'll do everything for you!" he beamed, with ridiculously wide, ridiculously idiotic smile.

"Then stop polluting my air with your breath and let me finish my chocolate" you hissed, showing his face off, making him almost triple back, along with the chair. There was no other way to deal with that idiot, than to actually pay him a bit of attention and only then tell him to get lost. If you didn't, he would just keep following you around as long as you wouldn't give in, and, you had to admit, he was of those pests that didn't let go.

"It's a date" Doflamingo said suddenly with very serious face, on which he somehow managed to add small smile, and you almost choked on your chocolate. Stupid flamingo was stupid flamingo, although his stupidity never stopped to surprise you – in a bad way, as always.

 _Keep your cool_ , you told yourself. _You went through his idiocies before_.

Well, obviously you did. But today he was even clingier than last time. Thankfully, he understood message when, after he called you 'Apple-chan', you slapped him so hard, his body almost broke thick wall. But that was the only thing good in all this.

Or not exactly the only one, since after his proclamation of imagined 'date' you got much grumpier than you would be usual when he dragged you out, and maybe because of that, (and to your utter, complete surprise) he was actually being tolerable. Most of the time.

As long as you remembered to hit him solid through the head and make it clear that you choose and he is paying before entering every single shop anyway.

"Here, it's for you!" he cheered, holding a bouquet before your nose. That was the only time you allowed him to go alone (and managed to thing quite a few escape routes in the meantime) and you were already regretting it.

Because the bouquet was made of red roses.

"I hate roses. Especially red ones" you stated calmly, showing flowers onto his chest.

"Wha-? But… But girls like red roses!" he argued. You let out a low growl and turned your head around, looking him the way that made him take a step back.

"How many times I have to tell you that I'm not some stupid teenage girl you won't buy with pretty things? Especially with the things she hates?" you growled, and, upon seeing his sad face, **almost** , almost felt bad. When he turned away and slowly walked to closest bench, only to fall onto it helplessly, you actually felt a bit bad. And immediately cursed yourself for it.

You brought one of worst people on Grand Line onto the verge of crying. You just couldn't stop nasty smirk bending your lips.

"I like field flowers" you said suddenly as you walked to him, surprising even yourself. Doflamingo's head perked up, focusing all his attention on you, as you sat next to him. You let out a heavy sigh, cursing your good will. "And better than throwing tons of money into dirt, I appreciate hand-made things. And, you know, I kind of hate those pricey boutiques."

"Why are you telling me that?" Doflamingo asked. "I know you don't like me, no matter how I try, or what I do."

"Because you're just stupid and label all the girls under one category" you snorted. "How many times am I supposed to tell you I'm different? I hate expensive presents, roses, balls, I don't dream of prince charming. I'm simple a simple bookworm who appreciates those less pompous things in life, like field flowers. But what could someone like you know about being simple? You're a World Noble turned King, after all."

You stood up, looking up into the sky. Yes, that was main reason why you disliked Doflamingo. He was of those rich, spoiled bastards who thought that they can buy anything.

"You're right" he admitted. "You…"

"And I don't like you" you turned to him, your face serious. "You're just an idiot."

And, just like that, you walked away.

Even if you managed this time, you knew it was just matter of time when he'll find you again. And now, that you actually gave him some tips for entertaining you, you were getting a bit afraid. What if you were going to like him? You liking that idiot. No, that thought was too scary.

He was, after all, just one stupid flamingo.


	4. Little Kindness (Fujitora Issho)

Savage Kill - I see them all as mostly harmless, especially Doflamingo being extra dork when it comes to someone he loves, because he has absolutely NO idea how to approach that person xD

BlueWingedAngelReAnne - well, that's the point of this whole fic, although few things about Apple are already made up. I actually have my own OC for this, whose nickname is actually Apple. So yeah xD

( **spoiler:** Apple is totally OP character)

* * *

 **•~ Little Kindness (Fujitora Issho)**

* * *

Kindness. Most of the situations you got yourself into, be it bad or good, always started with kindness. Be it yours, be it others, but in never was otherwise.

Everything around you based on kindness. When you were small, your family taught you about it, how to share it to gain more. How that was the only possible way to receive it – trade it with someone, people might say. Sure, kindness you offered sometimes made people uneasy, suspicious, when they weren't used to receiving it. But more often than not, it brought you good things. Besides, it wasn't like you could stop yourself from helping. It made you feel even more needed than you did, and you liked it.

What you hated, though, was cheating. Various forms of it, any form, actually.

Thus, when you saw a blind man being cheated on in roulette game, you just couldn't keep yourself from reacting. Self-control that could make you move away was far, far beyond you.

"It's white" you said, walking over to them, interrupting the man who was just about to – yet again – say that the ball fell onto black tile. "It's been white all the time, too."

"Really?" blind man perked up. He wasn't young, but neither old, and had those kind features and demeanor of nice guy who always stood with others. He also wore purple kimono, and, you noticed, was tall, even sitting.

The man who was cheating, on the other hand, turned red and veins showed on his face. That fellow you ignored with cold blood.

"Really" you admitted, standing next to the older man. "He's been cheating you all the time."

"You… How dare you!" the cheater pounced at you without a warning. Too slow, too clumsy. You went on with most basic, very light for your standards, punch in the jaw, and that was enough to knock him out good.

"I dare because I care" you huffed, as his limp body fell to the ground. "Gosh, I hate those gutless fucktards; all bark and absolutely no bite."

"What did just happen?" blind man asked, grabbing his wooden staff and standing up slowly. Now you could clearly see how tall he was. Gosh, it made you feel like the whole world is taller than you, and you felt awful with it.

"That guy, the one who was cheating, tried to attack me" you shrugged. "So I punched him and… I guess accidentally knocked him out? I swear, I put almost no strength in that. I swear, those people get weaker and weaker" you huffed, and perked up, surprised, as you heard man laugh.

"First off, I'd like to thank you. I really believed he was telling the truth. I think I, indeed, am too naïve" man said, scratching back of his head. "Secondly, I apologize for the incident."

"No need. He asked for trouble, he received it" you shrugged, crossing your arms.

"Anyway, I believe I do owe you. How could I repay you, young lady, for your help?"

"How about a name first? I don't really want to refer to you as 'gramps' all the time" you sighed, because if that wasn't obvious, then what was? "People call me Apple, by the way."

"Oh, then, miss Apple, my name is Issho" man introduced himself, bowing slightly. You couldn't help a smile – it was so rare these times to met anyone close to gentleman, really. "I guess that since it's been white all the time, I've won pretty sum."

"Yes you did" you nodded.

"How about I buy you a dinner as a thank you, then?" he asked, and you frowned.

"I already had dinner" you answered, visibly saddening the man, but immediately after it, you added: "but I still have some space for desert, and I've heard all kind of good things about local pastry. I would like come coffee, too."

This statement made man smile, as he offered you his shoulder to hold onto, and, honestly, you felt like a goddamn lady with it.

•~(x)~•

Few pastry shops, bakeries, candy shops and the Poker-Cheater's angry 'friends' later, you two were sitting on the roof of one of buildings, enjoying the sweets you have (he had) bought. It was still early, sun high up in the sky, but city seemed quite calm, actually. And you just sat there, munching on god-only-knows-which-in-line muffin (you lost count sometime ago), enjoying the silence.

"Say, Apple" Issho suddenly spoke, catching your attention. "Just what exactly are you?"

"It's really dependant on what you mean" you answered, and then took last bite of vanilla-strawberry muffin, reaching for, in change, a donut.

"I know you are not a marine, but you don't seem like a pirate either. I've never really heard of you before."

"Oh, that's what you mean" you said, and then took large bite of the donut. "Well, I'm neither. I'm just your average girl who will change the world" you answered with full mouth.

"What do you mean; 'change the world'?" he asked curiously.

"For the better, duh. First aim – get rid of Marines and World Nobles" you said, shrugging, and he visibly tensed. "Don't worry, though, **Fujitora**. I don't plan on getting rid of you" you added, and then he suddenly seemed surprised.

"How do you know…?" he started.

"Well, I did my homework" you giggled.

"How do you even plan on doing… That?" he asked, and you giggled more.

"As simply as possible – killing Akainu might be a good start" you shrugged, as if you were talking about as much as today's weather.

"And what makes you think you will ever be able to do that?" Issho asked. You huffed, and your smile truned a bit sour as you shifted in your sitting position.

"I'm not what I seem, Fujitora. Keep that in mind" you said, and then stood up, grabbing your share of pastry. "Thank you for today, it was really nice to meet someone… Normal, let's say. Especially if you're a Marine Admiral, I didn't expect you to be nice guy at all. I was positively wrong."

"You think all the Marines are bad guys?" he snorted.

"No, there's Kuzan, Smoker, Garp, Sengoku and few others I don't know by name. But other than that? They all deserve extermination."

"You have very… Strictly defined point of view. And a bit scary."

"Perhaps" you smiled. "Well, thanks for today. I hope we'll meet again on friendly terms."

"I do hope, too."

"And, Fujitora?"

"Call me Issho. And yes?"

"If I start realizing my plan… Don't start a fight with me, please. I don't want to harm you."

Issho only sighed as you jumped down the building.


End file.
